Many misunderstandings arise simply because we don’t listen. I will say that again just in case you weren’t listening. Many misunderstandings arise simply because we don’t listen. Generally, we only hear what we want to hear, rather than what the speaker wants us to hear. As a result, a friendly discussion can sometimes deteriorate into an argument.

But if it difficult to listen, then it is just as hard to say exactly what one means. We mostly form our opinions as we speak, rather than working out in advance and this fans the flames of misunderstanding, mightily. Even people who have known each other for decades fall into this trap; a fact my Manager, my wife Ann, frequently draws to my attention. The most dreadful example of this situation, however, is trying to carry on a conversation at a dance. It is a complete mystery to me how anyone can hear, let alone understand, anything that is being said to them because of the noise. At best, I try to keep a friendly grin on my face and nod vigorously at what I guess might be the right moment.

A recent experience of this occurred when we had been invited to a dinner dance; the dance part being 'hornpipes, jigs, strathspeys and reels', presumably to put life and metal in the heels of the dancers. As I sat watching, an elderly man came over, pulled up a chair, and sat down beside me. “Now”, he said, “I know your work and what you have written about salmon farming, and I wanted to….” At that moment the band struck up the Reel of the 51st Division and I couldn’t hear a word the he was saying. However, this did not prevent him from continuing, and I gathered that he himself might have forgotten to turn on his aid. He continued in a soft, measured tones. As the first set ended, I suspected, because of the way he was looking at me, that he had asked me a question. I leaned as close as I could to the ear with the hearing aid and said, “What do you think?"

He smiled and said, “Now that is a very good answer, and …” The second set had started and once more I was a deaf as the man addressing me. When the music finally stopped he got up from his chair and said, before departing, “Now, I want you to think very carefully about what I have been saying,”

At least in this instance there was no possibility of any misunderstanding: I hadn’t heard a single word he had said although I had been listening intently all the time.